And I feel like I've lost a precious jewel in my life.  The days we walked, to the nights we played, all became memorable experiences just because you were in them.

And it took me years of maturing, and understanding, and experiencing, to understand what a treasure you were. My ignorance blinding me from the beautiful, trashing the valuable opportunity that could have been.

And oh, it could have been.  Yet I didn't bother chasing.  Like a pretty butterfly, you fluttered away.

And seeing everything else in my life made me realize the true beauty that simply WAS.  The absolute beauty that lay in front of me each and everyday.  Yet ignorance and immaturity clouded my eyes.

And years later I sit here, wishing to return.  Clueless as to why these feelings flourish.  I didn't want to feel this way.  I want to continue on and face what's ahead of me.  I'm quite honestly sick and tired of constantly looking behind me.

But it's my only alternative to escape from reality.
As life severs delicate bonds, my fists clench in anger.

I wage war to the unseen forces that constantly wage war to us.

It's hard dealing with a heart that keeps going one way while your mind wants to go the other.  My mind tries to focus on what's real, on what's POSSIBLE.  But my heart gravitates towards the IMPOSSIBLE.

And my mind can never beat my heart.  Curse this feeling.

Why am I attracted to the impossible?  Why do I reach for things that I can't get?

Sometimes, I'll never grow.